Grateful for Silence
He just needed to blow off some steam. That fight was intense, and nothing he had ever thought could’ve happened between him and Mia. He slid into his car, freshly painted again with a colour more his style, and set off. He wasn’t sure where he was going, but he sure as hell wasn’t staying here.
He remembered that freeway. The one just west of the city that ran parallel to the limits for a while. Looking at the time, it was unlikely it was going to be busy, and as long as there wasn’t an officer cooped up in a speed trap, he was going to be just fine. He hit mute on his radio, tossed the transmission into drive, and sped off.
How could she have said that? How could she not trust him enough even though he had proved himself time and again? Sure this had been the first time it had ever come up, but he still felt hurt that it had appeared at all.
Nearing the off-ramp, he did a casual shoulder check, and locked onto a single pair of headlights, heading the same way he was thinking. Dismissing them as someone who would be long past, he signaled and moved onto the on-ramp, swirling the events around in his head and wondering what went wrong.
They had met in the first year of university. He had run late to his first class, and the lecture hall was already packed. "Joys of intro classes...", he had thought. He filed in and took an empty seat about halfway down, pulled out his notebook, and tried to mentally catch himself up with the information on the blackboard. Halfway through the critical dates, the professor began to erase the current writing in favour of new material, and he was left with a notebook half-filled with days that didn’t mean much of anything to him yet.
Despair beginning to set in, he felt something butt up against his right forearm. He looked down, and saw a notebook against him, full of colourful and beautiful writing. After the initial reaction wore off, he noticed it was the dates, and more importantly, the ones he had missed. He glanced up at the owner of the book, and saw a girl of equal beauty to her writing staring straight at the professor. After a second, she motioned her head towards her book, pushing it once more towards him. He snapped out of the trance he was in, and began furiously copying down the rest of the tentative schedule.
He had made it a point to be early for that class, as not to seem eager to sit beside the beauty with the pretty writing. Over time, he had learnt her name, Maria, which eventually became Mia. They had studied together for every test, and he had fallen for her every time over for the next couple months. Right after their final for that class, which happened to be both their last of the semester, they had gone on what they would eventually consider to be their first date. A small dinner at a cafe she had been wanting to try, followed by skating and hot chocolate.
He shook his head, returning back to the present, and noticing that the car he had noted earlier had pulled even with his. Curious, he gave the other vehicle a once over. It was the same manufacturer and make as his, but of many years past. The paint seemed to have faded from whatever its natural colour once was, but it was as silent as the hum of the road. What impresses him is that neither car is wavering at all. Both him and the other driver seem to be totally in sync. It couldn’t be Mia, could it? he pondered. But when he glanced to the driver of the vehicle, it wasn’t a 20 year old girl. Rather, it was a man that he estimated would be in his mid-forties, with shaggy hair that was already going grey, and some unkempt stubble lining his jaw.
With a feeling similar to a wave crashing in all at once, he was hit with emotion he couldn’t describe. He felt like he had experienced a life that wasn’t all his, but in his heart, it had felt like it had doubled in age. He glanced at the man again, and this time eye contact was established. The next moment felt like an eternity. His questions as to where these feelings of joy, fulfillment, anguish and despair originated found their answer in this moment. He looked at the man and felt…everything.
But, before any more time passed, the man broke the line, turned his head, and motioned to something up ahead. Turning to see what was of interest, he noticed a sign mentioning the last possible exit back into town for a long while. He turned back to the man, who just nodded ever so slightly. He nodded back, and gave him the kindest smile he could muster, as he just had a glimpse of what he must have already gone through. The man smiled back, and began to gain speed, finally, silently breaking the pact that both of them never knew they had agreed upon. He, on the other hand, began to slow, signalling to the deceleration lane, when a text appeared on his phone.
"Babe, I don’t know what to say right now, but could you please just come home?"
He set a mental course for Mia’s house, trying to think of anything he could say to fix this. He took a deep breath, thought back to the past few miles, and found his answer. Sometimes the presence in silence is enough. He thought back to the man, what events must’ve led right to that moment, and how the man likely nodded in hope that his younger counterpart's life won’t turn out to be the same as the man in the left lane. A final thought as he began to leave the freeway in the rear view mirror was whether the man had found some solace in the silent journey, just as he had found his tonight. He really hoped the man did.